MOC: [[LEADERSHIP]] Recommandé par : / Date : {{date}} Auteur: [[Michael Bungay Stanier Tags: #livre Note : *** # The Coaching Habit ## 📚 Book Summary This is a summary of *[The Coaching Habit](https://www.amazon.fr/Coaching-Habit-Less-Change-Forever/dp/0978440749)* by Michael Bungay Stanier. This book contains valuable insights to vastly improve your 1:1 coaching skills. It emphasizes on the importance of asking great questions and being an active listener. This knowledge can easily be applied even if you’re not a coach yourself: as a manager, a parent, a friend an so on. It’s a must-read to anyone who’s willing to improve their interactions with other people. Here are 3 lessons from it: **1/ The Kickstart Question** > What’s on your mind? > This a great question to kickstart any conversation. It’s an open question that will always trigger interesting answers. From there, you will identify projects, people or patterns of interest that are worth exploring together. This question is totally neutral and it will help you to avoid taking the lead on the discussion, while letting enough room for them to express their thoughts. By asking this question, you switch from problem solving to personal growth approach. **2/ The Strategic Question** > If you’re saying ‘Yes’ to this, what are you saying ‘No’ to? > It’s a great question to help one bringing clarity into their commitments. Most of the time, people commit to things they don’t fully understand and say ‘Yes’ way too quickly. But when they’re saying ‘Yes’ to something, they’re also saying ‘No’ to what happens concurrently. And sacrificing time, energy and attention to create space and focus for the new commitment. Ideally, one should learn to say ‘Yes’ more slowly, be very curious and ask a lot of questions before committing. The strategic question will help them realize that, and prioritize accordingly. **3/ The TERA Quotient** To perform productive coaching sessions, you need to build trust and to have a space space with them. The TERA quotient can help you achieve that. Here is what it stands for: - Tribe → Send clear signals that you belong together, that you’re on their side. - Expectation → Make the future and yourself very predictable for them. - Rank → Remove any clue for difference of status and speak on equal terms. - Autonomy → Truly let them have a word in the conversation at hand. ## ✅ Actionable Advice **1/ Start to use the kickstart question on a daily basis:** - Engage one conversation a day asking “What’s on your mind?” to someone. - Then, identify a project, people or pattern that caught your attention and deep dive on this topic with your interlocutor. **2/ Ask the strategic question to yourself:** - Start by listing all of your active commitments: - Are you 100% clear of what the definition of done look like for each one? - What are you sacrificing to make room for each of them? - Can you withdraw from a few of them? - Next time you’re asked to commit to something, ask at least 3 questions before agreeing. **3/ Work on improving your TERA quotient:** - Ask permission to record a few 1:1 meetings. - Watch them and rate out of 10 how well you’re doing in each of the categories. - Pick your lowest score and identify one new habit you can implement to improve it.